— Unknown
Five years later there are still shards of her left under my skin
I couldn’t bleed them out no matter how much blood I poured out of myself, down the drain
Trauma’s shock can only erase so much from your memory
And I keep trying to drown those memories
But they always swim to the surface when someone asks why I flinch so much
I wish it could be understood without words
As if I could transfer my memories to their eyes
If only I could give away the pain on a USB so I no longer have to remember
My body still recoiling from her knuckles painting masterpieces of black and blue onto my skin
Everyone says I should have used my voice but I hadn’t found it yet
They don’t tell you about abuse until you’re 6 feet under with flowers growing at your head
Because the fists kill the flowers in your mind
And you couldn’t bear the winter cold anymore
I mapped the blueprints of my death
While they all ogled the angles of bones poking from under my skin
Starving will only let her plant her nails deeper
No one tells you how to forget
But they can’t forget the look of your shattered body