Essence of Forever

I visited home a few weeks ago

I stumbled upon a love letter he wrote me when we were still together

We must’ve written at least a hundred back and forth

I don’t know if he kept any of the ones I wrote him

All the dreams of forever

Of a future that was never going to happen

Written on a single page

As if somehow we were promised the world

As I finish reading this letter of what once was

Tears are bubbling out of my eyes because now he has you

And now I find myself basking in lonely

I know you’re better for him than I ever was

Just please,

Take care of him better than I could

Fill him with a type of love I don’t have


To My Best Friend

We work together like batteries. You can’t have one of us without the other. We met freshman year of high school when we both were feeling lonely and isolated. It was January and you had transferred into the school in enough time for the new school year in September. The friends you thought you had weren’t really friends. All the friends I had decided that I didn’t fit the image they were trying to create, so I was ejected from the group. We had a pointless class together so once we made acquaintance, we started skipping. We did things like break windows together. Cute, right? Somehow we became inseparable. Junior year my school photos were right under yours but we weren’t in the same homeroom so you had to deliver them to me. Coincidence? You stuck with me through my ups and downs and I stuck with you through yours. We both have a low bullshit tolerance and go with the flow personalities. When we’re together we feed off each other and become more annoying and loud than we are separate. We joke about harming each other because we know we were thinking the same annoying thing we wish we hadn’t. All my college friends ask who you are and I have to tell them that you’re my best friend from high school and we’re inseparable despite currently living in different states. We are the same person and have come to a point where we can’t live without each other. I’m glad we met and that we have put up with each other for this long. I can’t imagine my life if I hadn’t met you.


Aisle (Ainslie if your phone hadn’t butchered my name)


I thought you would restore my faith in love

Instead you treated me as a dandelion in spring

Plucking me from everything that meant anything to myself

And blowing away everything recognizable

You tore every petal from my stem

You can tell when I began giving up on myself

I became quiet again

Even on social media – I am known for tweeting too much

In my free time I edited my suicide note

I ordered forget-me-nots to arrive on your doorstep for the day the air stopped running through my lungs

But you received them yesterday afternoon

When the love you felt for me was pushed off a cliff

So you could make room for her