18

After Patrick Roche

18.)

I burned my lungs black trying to forget

No drug can pull this everlasting cold out

Even the alcohol that has become a perfume on my lips

17.)

I lost

The love that I was suppose to keep

The existence I’ve been working so hard to keep

16.)

Loving someone when you’re drowning is fiercer than what you’re sold on the street

I knew it from the time I first locked eyes with him

He’s the last molecule of air left and I’m breathing him in

15.)

His murky eyes are the last thing I want to see before I leave

He’s my favorite everything

How do I keep someone who wants me to live even on the days where I don’t want to exist?

14.)

I’m losing

I told them to look for me passed out on the floor

Only a shell left because I don’t belong here

My parents can’t even tell my sister what is happening to me

She’s too young to understand

I hope she doesn’t catch this parasite that eats people alive

13.)

The bruises fell off eventually

Washing them off in the shower only made it all worse

She tattooed them on so I couldn’t forget her name

12.)

I’m sinking

They teach you about diseases in health class

But not the ones that eat away you happiness

Numbing you down so all you feel is winter

11.)

Food is a poison that I refuse to take

They’ll like me better if I’m light as a feather

10.)

I don’t know what love is but I want to fall into it

9.)

I want to live forever

I want to touch the sky so I can see my friend again

8.)

They said he died of cancer

7.)

6.)

5.)

I have so much living left to do

4.)

3.)

2.)

My little sister comes home with my parents

I want her to succeed

Even if that means I fail

1.)

0.)

When my mother was pregnant with me

She must have hoped well

Not that her oldest almost left by her own hand

Because someone decided she wasn’t enough

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