Trouble

Too many of our dreams died between classroom walls

Hissed within hallways the lack of worth we held in our palms

I was queen of detentions

Spending half my career there while still getting accepted to a 4 year university

The 80s were long gone but my friends and I lived like those movies

Trying to kill the pain we harbored on our skin

Eating away our minds

Friends spending lunch getting higher and higher in the parking lot

We smoked cigarettes in bathrooms

Nearly burning down the prison filled with people who used words like knives

Fists like bullets

Trying to take us out one at a time so there was more to whisper in between the very classrooms we drafted our suicide notes

We lived on the drug trail made for addicts like us

Nicotine, alcohol, any drugs we could get our greedy hands on

Staples in diets of people like us

What can an underfunded public school in the suburbs really do for students trying to warm the bones that froze over in thoughts of bleeding until there was no more blood left in us?

Our minds had already quit on us as we took turns in psychiatric wards

We smoked in the dugout

Under bleachers

Trying to outrun death so our parents wouldn’t find us in the rafters

Because the illness eating us away took us first

I mean the hushed whispers told us we were better off gone because we were worth nothing

We all became nothing, I mean you start believing them eventually

The school couldn’t stop them since they were varsity athletes and we were the dirt on the bottom of their shoes

I mean we were just the druggies

No one needed us anyways

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