You knew both before and after
He will never change but nor will you
I no longer recognize the woman I once confided in
He crushed me into dust
No longer the same reflection looking back in the mirror
Reducing me to ash with the firestorm of his own trauma
Do not pity me
But you say to let you know if you are friends with one’s abuser
What do I do when one is inseparable from him
Abusers are nice to those they aren’t abusing
And he seems “nice enough” to never have weaponized his words
Treading lightly in case his tongue was no longer enough to tear town the abandoned building I became
You do not know fear when looking into his eyes
I tried giving myself in phases as the moon does
He took it all leaving me in my own darkness
He took and took and took until there was nothing left for me to give
I was suppose to heal him while healing from him
Here I am still unlearning a love that burned going down
Still looking for my reflection
Hoping you will hear the screams to run as fast as you can
Knowing neither of you will change for one tiny voice pleading
ainslianity 