One night you wanted to sleep next to me to keep me warm but I was afraid I’d wake up screaming
I vividly dream when I’m down but I was overrun with anxiety and the buzz of mania, so there was just darkness preparing me for the grave
You cannot fully tell someone how it is living with what happened to you and its reprocussions
The best analogy I have is a locket bound around your neck with memories you do not wish to remember but you cannot take it off
No matter how much you scratch, tug, pull – it’s still there
I still have yet to explain to him how alone you are in addiction – the pain fading for a moment while you destroy some other part of you
And how you chose this because no one could hear you screaming
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