13 Reasons Why

13 Reasons Why the book and show of the same name is full of shit, from a mentally ill person

  1. When I was going to kill myself I did not have the energy to write myself into the follicles of explaining why I was no longer, never mind record 13 tapes for the people who buried me
  2. You could fold me up fragile as tissue paper, the most colorful part of me was the blood I fed to the drain, my skin was already the color it would become post mortem otherwise
  3. If I had the energy to record those tapes, it would have gone to finishing work because wanting to die all the time is exhausting, people are still baffled I always made it to school when I was 10 feet underground, numbed out to the world moving around me
  4. Love does not cure mental illness of any facet
  5. No I’m serious – the love I felt overpowered everything but my illnesses, I still vividly remember how his hands felt in mine and the reassurance that I wasn’t alone in the cold that inhabited my chest, but death breathing down my neck didn’t cease for a lover
  6. Pretty imagery does so much to erase the grimy reality of being mentally ill
  7. Bullies are not all jocks and popular kids, trust me
  8. No really, trust me on number 7. Enduring two years of bruises unexplained to my parents and eyes of those around me averted each time one of my friends hit me, I lived in fear. Another two of a lover filling his poison love into my lungs. All already outcast, they needed to feel power over someone.
  9. Not everyone dies, but not everyone lives comfortably after diagnosis either. Many of us float between, living in discomfort most of our lives until deemed “cured”, if our illness can be.
  10. You will never be fixed by someone else’s love. Seriously. I can’t stress this enough.
  11. Mental illness isn’t pretty, it won’t be flowers and muted colors. It will be patchy cheeks from crying and anxiety attacks severe enough to render you unable to speak until it’s over.
  12. No one is affected the same, I slept for 10 hours a night while my best friend didn’t sleep. Both avoiding food, bones hollow as a baby bird freshly hatched.
  13. The scars you leave probably won’t fade, no matter how much miracle concoctions and creams you try. Do not take a blade to your skin to be edgy, do not do it period. Take it from a serial self harmer. It becomes an addiction you cannot drop. Do not do it because you think it’s cool.

 

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