Dictionary of my Illness

To live

Verb –

To remain alive

But was I really alive if I wasn’t making a noise locked away in my own storming

Leaving no traces of fingerprints where I tread

Weaving pieces of myself in the fabric of other’s lives for when I was gone I had never really left

To want

Verb –

To have a desire to possess or do

My life no longer belonged to me but to the darkness blanketing my world

What was I supposed to do with a life I was gifted but not given the gift receipt to?


Past tense to live

I was an abandoned house peeling purples and blues

Frame cracking with each ungrateful breath

I looked like someone turned all the lights off with no hopes of ever returning

To recover

Verb –

To return to a normal state of health

Some days I feel the need to replace every floorboard

Other days I am happy for every creak and quirk

But I cannot compare to the house next door



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