Tasting Memories

Memories fade for many reasons

They can’t fade if they were never there

Post traumatic stress disorder affects the brain in a manner in which something goes awry transferring short term memories to long term

 

It’s playing Russian Roulette when I tell myself to remember certain moments

Many times I won’t

I told myself I would remember us laying, innocently mapping his skin with my fingertips

Our laughter dancing in the moonlight teaching him the magic of making out in public

But I’m already forgetting the details

Like his words melting into mine

Post traumatic stress disorder hides memories in a world I cannot find

I tell myself what memories need to be captured

But they end up on a film reel in the attic of memories I cannot dig up

I want to remember the moments that made my heart fuzzy

Yet the ones freezing my veins surprise me instead

Remembering the sting of violence still makes it hard to breathe

I’m not sure if I want to remember any longer

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