An Open Letter to Suicide

Dear Suicide,

You almost stole my best friend before I could even call her that

You almost whisked me away before she could call me that

I know I have written about you behind your back for years

But how can you forget when thoughts of you struck so young

I spent my entire adolescence planning how we would meet

We broke up so long ago

Tell me how I fall asleep some nights still thinking of you

My family tortured with watching me carve pictures of you in my skin

Watching me kill myself over and over again in my dreams

Maybe sometimes they wish you took me along

But imaging my best friend stripped away from me by your hand

Puts me in greater pain than living with you camped out in the back of my mind

I beg of you never steal her away

Take me, but oh god not her

She will do so much more than I ever could

All I have is melancholy and a pen

My bones are a river you float yourself back into

You’re just scratches upon a map rather than places and faces I will visit one day

Please just let me live without you whispering promises in my ear

I know I’m just bad timing

Leave with the back door open so something better can wander in


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