Elegy for the Girl Depression Took From Me

Your silence comforted people who needed an ear to chew off

Blue grey eyes assured that your sea would never be stormy

Yet many days they acted as mirrors reflecting blood running down the drain

Fingertips as gentle as your voice

Whispering hushed compliments

Wishing their thanks was a “I know you’re hurting”

Your brilliance faded away

With every layer of skin scrubbed red

Trying to lighten the scars

Your brain told your hands were necessary to let this cold out

With the kiss of a razor

Instead giving the happiness away

A’s turned to C’s

Butterflies your heart once held set free

Replaced by a heaviness no one but you could feel

Cracking open the chest that holds

I buried you the first time  they forced antidepressants down my throat

Each dose

Therapy session

Psychiatrist appointment

Felt like betraying your memory

Burying you down deeper

I’ve got to accept you’re never returning to me

Mourning you won’t do anything

Everyone says I’ve been grieving too long

As if they’ve had to mourn the person they could have been if mental illness never struck

I’m sorry I let this happen to you


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