Sounds a Lot Like You Leaving

A list of reasons I left him for the people who won’t stop asking:

My feelings are valid – he didn’t think so

You don’t put down someone’s interests

Especially if it kept them from taking the step over the ledge

Just because you don’t feel the numbing pain they way I do

Doesn’t mean it’s less real

He had me in the palm of his hand – I would’ve taken a bullet for him

Even if it were him behind the trigger

He tried to stifle a future he didn’t know if he’d  be a part of

His empty threats of suicide if I left

Hit me like a train every single time


Relearning the validity of my feelings was more difficult than the day I picked myself up and left

It was like rebuilding a house that collapsed on itself

His name still stings

His name feels like road rash and bloody knees every time it leaves someone’s mouth

When it runs off my tongue it feels like coffee that’s a little too hot

And I want to say I feel nothing towards him

So that he wouldn’t have a space in my heart to live

We all know how much of a lie that is


I fall asleep with a new boy’s hands tangled in my hair

Sometimes I think about the way your hands run through her hair

Fingers wandering p and down her skin

And it feels like daggers

Because I know you erased me

You’d rather pretend I don’t exist


I guess I would too


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