The Curse of Mental Illness

When I was sick

I didn’t tell him

I was afraid I was going to scare him off

With my hallucinations

And the voices that screamed at me

To tear open my skin

When you were sick

Endless streams of water left my eyes

The first time you set fire to your skin

I dragged the blade on mine

I thought I was the guilty one

Because I was 3 years into it

And you were a day

When I was in the process of leaving

I was afraid

For I thought you would set your being on fire,

Fill your lungs with water until you were no longer breathing,

Attend your funeral with the rope as your tie,

Drown in pills and alcohol

And I would be as Courtney was when Kurt died;

Blamed for the death of a lover

All I wanted was recovery

For that I needed to leave


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